The Rest Will Come Read online

  “So I know you like to bike,” Emma commented.

  “Yeah, I bike everywhere. As long as the gas guzzling trucks aren’t running me off the road.”

  “What else do you like to do?”

  “I just like to be outside. Bruno and I are working on hiking all the fourteeners in Colorado.”

  “That’s mountains over fourteen thousand feet, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How many have you done?”

  “Six so far.”

  “That’s awesome. I always wanted to hike Pikes Peak. My father lives in Colorado Springs.”

  “Pikes Peak is a fourteener. I haven’t done that one. Maybe date two.”

  Emma grinned. “Maybe.”

  Bruno wandered less enthusiastically, slapping his nose against Rick’s hand for attention. He looked up at his master expectantly.

  “I think Bruno might be a little bored of the dog park. Do you want to hike around a little more?” Rick said.

  “Sure.”

  She looked down at her flat, unsupportive shoes as Rick pulled the leash from his back pocket and attached it to Bruno’s collar. Bruno, animated again, wagged his tail, his tongue sprawling out of his mouth.

  The gate clinked behind them as moved out of the dog park, the sun vibrant against the trees and dusty colored rocks. The park poured out in front of them, climbing up toward the foothills. The light was beginning to roast her exposed and unprotected skin, the heat climbing into her cells. Rick let Bruno lead them, which he did more calmly than Emma would have anticipated for his puppy demeanor. She assumed from so much practice on 14ers.

  “You have four sisters?”

  “Yes. Four.”

  “Oh wow. How was that?”

  “Traumatic.”

  Emma choked on her giggle.

  “I love all my sisters very much. They are different, beautiful, and brilliant people.”

  “Naturally.”

  “But they are absolutely insane. I mean, like, certifiably crazy. Puberty nearly killed us all, including both our parents. Girls are ruthless too.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “I was right in the middle, and I managed to get beat up or manipulated and played by the older and the younger set. Between all the periods and boyfriends and breakups and PMS, it was a madhouse.”

  “Well, you can say periods and PMS without squirming, so you’re ahead of the game.”

  “You say ahead of the game; my ex-wife said emotionally ambivalent.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  Rick stopped walking and faced Emma. “Thank you!”

  In the momentary break, the pain points in Emma’s feet started to throb. The hot burn of blisters budded on the pads of her feet and her heels. The sun also began to write in red along her shoulders and she was sure her nose.

  “I don’t mean to cut the date short,” Emma said. “I did not wear the correct shoes for hiking, and I think I’m starting to get a little pink.”

  Rick rolled his wrist over.

  “Oh wow! It’s been three hours since we left the dog park. How did that happen?”

  “I don’t know,” Emma laughed.

  “Let’s call this a date so you can go soak your blisters and aloe your shoulders. I’m sorry I kept you out here so long.”

  “No problem at all. It was great to meet you.”

  “You too, Emma.”

  When they ambled back to the parking lot, Rick gently took Emma’s wrist and let his lips brush her cheek. The gesture was pleasant; Emma only wished that she had felt any kind of rush at the touch.

  She limped through her door, gently detaching the shoes that felt embedded into her aching feet then chucked them away from her. Even her legs were starting to stiffen from the unexpected hike. She hobbled up the stairs and into the shower, the warm water igniting the kiss of sunburn at her edges. She washed the salty film of sweat from her skin and wrapped in a towel to search out her most comfortable pair of heels.

  ***

  “You go bowling in heels, girl?” Jamal said to her as they stood in line at the bowling alley.

  “I have socks in my purse for the bowling shoes, so technically I’m wearing heels to bowling,” Emma replied.

  “You look good in them either way.”

  “Thank you.”

  Emma blushed, heat rising in her cheeks. Jamal lifted his chin and let his eyelids drape slightly when he complimented her. Something about the way his speech changed made Emma’s chest flutter like a moth trapped in a lampshade. When she looked at him, her blood swelled at his perfectly symmetrical face.

  The rolling sound of colliding pins moved through the room around them. Emma followed Jamal to their lane, holding her issued shoes as lightly and as far from her body as she could discreetly. She held her stride as gracefully as possible, even as the blisters shrieked each time she put her weight on a foot. Her knees threatened to wobble and abandon her.

  This is the last time I do two dates in one day, Emma promised herself.

  She walked up the lane, cradling the ball to her chest, hoping she disguised her limp as she moved. Stepping forward and leaning to draw back the ball back sent tiny shockwaves over her tender nerves. She winced and heaved the ball back, sending it bouncing down the lane. Her ball meandered along the board, disappearing into the gutter.

  Emma tucked her hair behind her ear. “I might be completely terrible at this.”

  “That’s okay. I will happily watch you be terrible at it.”

  At the sly smile on Jamal’s lips, Emma tensed again. She wanted to skip this bowling date. She wanted to climb into his lap and stick her tongue down his throat. All the chemistry and attraction she did not feel when Rick pressed his lips to her cheek, she felt in spades when Jamal merely looked in her direction.

  “I’m kind of in between jobs right now. Surfing my brother’s couch at the moment. I was an oil tech at a tire place before. What do you do?” Jamal asked.

  “I have enough jobs to share. I work as a barista, at a call center, and I also pick up shifts as The Taproom.”

  “Damn, girl! That is a lot of jobs. How do you have time for anything else?”

  “I don’t really,” Emma laughed.

  “But you’re here.” Jamal leaned the slightest bit closer to her.

  “Yes. I made time for you.”

  The flirtation between them was palpable, as if Emma could reach out and run her fingertips along the tension. That pressure on her chest caused the rest of the world to haze. The sounds of the bowling pins moved farther away, and time swelled into the moment.

  Emma basked in it, a dumb grin playing on her glossed lips, until the realization rippled across her consciousness. It started as an uncomfortable familiarity, something bristling at the edge of her blurry euphoria. It had been blissfully amnesic for that split second when she wrapped up in the way he angled his chin toward her with interest, the way her heart flapped against her ribs when he looked at her.

  This was exactly the way she felt when she tumbled off sanity for Justin.

  The instant the thought took form in her brain and reached its horrific hand back into her memory, drawing up the wretched recollection of how blindly and fully she loved her unfaithful husband, nausea slammed into the back of her teeth. She struggled to hold back the sensation and keep the wince off her face. Jamal talked slyly from the corner of his mouth. Emma could no longer hear his words or anything else.

  Her own voice rose from the hum buzzing in her skull. This is not Justin. He is not Justin. You are just another damaged divorcée. Calm down. Keep your clothes on tonight and calm down.

  Emma swallowed her panic like a thick, burning lump down her throat. She drew her face back up and let the sounds of the world pour back through her ears. The overwhelming tension between them and the distracting flutter in her subsided. The bowling alley leveled out below her again, and she continued the date with her faculties unearthed.

  ***


  As Emma climbed into her bed that night, exhausted but alone, the montage of her whirlwind of first dates flickered behind her eyelids.

  She drifted off thinking, This online dating thing might not be so bad. I can do this. I can find someone doing this.

  Chapter 13

  “Come on, spill,” Ronnie said, bringing a slice of pizza awkwardly to her mouth over the nursing baby in her lap. “I’ve been waiting to hear about these online dates all week. Let me live vicariously through you.”

  “Why would you want to live vicariously through my dating?” Emma asked. “You never wanted to date. You hated dating. You adamantly avoided it.”

  “This is true, but presently, my nightly date gets milk drunk, pukes on me, and passes out. Frankly, I don’t remember what it’s even like to want sex much less have it. So you can appreciate that a little distraction from the dreary routine of motherhood would be lovely.”

  “You make it sound so awesome to be a mother.”

  “It is awesome, I swear. Some of the best moments of my life so far. But holy shit! It is so daunting, and I think I might suck at it.”

  “You don’t suck at it.”

  “We’ll see. No mom talk! I like to pretend I am still an adult person of my own under this boob pillow and the smell of diapers. Dating report, now.”

  “How do you want them? Chronologically? By ranking?”

  “Let’s go chronological so I don’t automatically disqualify them because you ranked them high.”

  “Yes. Thank you so much. First was Drew, the personal trainer.”

  “The meathead.”

  “Right. We went out to dinner. He’s a nice guy, recently divorced too. He’s super into fitness.”

  “Obviously.”

  “I was definitely attracted to him. We had that…attraction right away.”

  “You wanted to say spark.”

  “No I didn’t.”

  “Yes you did. Continue.”

  “Next was Rick, the cyclist. We went on a dog park date.”

  “A dog park date? You don’t have a dog.”

  “That part was kind of awkward. The rest wasn’t. I was comfortable with him. We talked for hours. We ended up hiking around for hours after the dog park, talking about our families and everything.”

  “He sounds promising.”

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t attracted to him.”

  “He was the short one, wasn’t he?”

  “No. Well, yeah, he is shorter than me. Things felt more platonic with him. I was comfortable, maybe too comfortable. There was no…flutter.”

  “No spark.”

  “Call it what you want. Then last, I went bowling with Jamal.”

  “Okay.” Ronnie waited for Emma to elaborate. “And…?”

  “And what?”

  “What do you not want to tell me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean you sparked with the meathead, and you were platonic over the dog-lover, but nothing for the last guy? What do you not want to tell me about him?”

  “He was hot.”

  “You think I’ll think he’s probably an ass?”

  “Yes, that. And…”

  “And?”

  “It made me stupid.”

  “Stupid how?”

  “Stupid like with Justin.”

  “Whoa! Okay. How do you mean?”

  “I started to flutter and float, and consider jumping into bed with him and imagine a whole future without knowing him at all.”

  “Jesus, Emma.”

  “See? This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

  “No. Look, you caught yourself. You saw what you were doing. I assume you did not jump on top of him or elope overnight.”

  “I did not.”

  “Look how much progress you’ve made! You didn’t need me to tell you anything. So tell me about this Jamal.”

  “He’s hot. And charming. And unemployed. And living on his brother’s couch.”

  “Oh wow, what a winner!”

  “I know. But again, I’m really attracted to him. I have trouble ignoring that. My head is saying, hell no. The rest of me…”

  “We know what your head is saying; we know what your vagina is saying. What are your guts saying? Your instinct?”

  “I don’t know. When I realized it felt like it did with Justin, I almost puked.”

  “That seems like a clear sign.”

  “I don’t want to toss anyone aside who reminds me of Justin. I loved Justin. What happens if I love someone else? Do I run because it feels similar?”

  “That’s a good point. I don’t know how you’ll be able to tell.”

  “I’m thinking I will give him a second date just to see.”

  “Fair enough. What about the other guys? Do they get second dates?”

  “I would have no issues seeing any of them again. I don’t think things with Rick would work out, but I’m willing to give it another date.”

  “How do you feel about all this?”

  “I’m not sure. I was worried about this whole online dating thing. I thought it was going to be a series of creeps, but all these guys seem decent so far. I feel like I could do this, like this maybe could work.”

  “Then here’s to hope.”

  ***

  Jamal met Emma in the parking lot of the apartment complex. As soon as Emma saw him emerge from below the green exterior stairway, she knew he had probably spent as much time assembling his ensemble as she had. He had donned a crisp plaid shirt with the first two buttons undone to reveal a glimpse of a shining chain against his dark skin. The front of his shirt was tucked behind a modest belt buckle, and the cuffs of his dark jeans were gathered behind the popped tongues of immaculate white basketball shoes. Another chain and a thick watch sparkled on his wrists.

  Emma was aware what all the signs were telling her, but he looked so recklessly appealing. She detected that familiar sway in her reasoning, as if a portion of her thought process had dissolved beneath her, the way the entire bowling alley had faded into the background on their last date. She snatched the trailing end of her waning composure. She knew what was happening; she had done this before. She was being dazzled by the peacock, blinded by the spark.

  Keep it together, Emma. He might be a dick. Okay, he’s probably a douchebag. But he might not be. He is not Justin. You’re only going to go on this date, keep your pants on, and find out. Mostly, keep your pants on.

  Emma gathered her purse and stepped out of the car to meet him. When Jamal saw her, a wide grin made his face even more attractive. Emma’s heart thumped against her ribs. Her body heat rose a single degree, bringing warmth to her face, the nerves in her skin arching toward the surface.

  Keep your pants on.

  “Hey girl,” Jamal said as they met each other beside the car.

  His attentive expression moved slowly around his face, practiced. Emma could feel the effect working on her as a blush climbed into her cheeks.

  “Welcome to my new digs.” He led her back toward the building from which he had emerged.

  Within the first few steps, he reached back and found her hand. At the touch and warmth of his skin, Emma’s knees locked, then wobbled. Grinning, she grazed her cheek with the fingertips of her other hand.

  She loved the feeling, the way the weight that had been crushing her for so long since that one soggy bikini, felt alleviated. The pressure of the pain and the frustration became obscured by the excitement in her flesh. The relief was intoxicating and less about Jamal himself and more about it not being about Justin or even about what might be wrong with her.

  Jamal opened the front door of his apartment and led her inside. A few pieces of furniture emerged from stacked boxes.

  “You are officially the first person who has been in my new place, and you are exactly the person who I want to celebrate with. You can see I am still unpacking and getting settled. I thought we could order some Chinese food and throw on some Netflix. You know, break the pl
ace in,” he said.

  Did he just say break the place in? Surely, that was not a line meaning to christen the place.

  Emma sat down on the couch. The entertainment system was, in fact, unpacked and completely assembled across the coffee table. Priorities. The couch rumpled under her weight, flexing in its faux leather fabric. The material was crisp and unforgiving beneath her. She tucked her purse under the table and sat awkwardly on the cushions.

  Jamal ordered their Chinese food on the phone with his thick, even tone, then dropped himself onto the couch beside her. He placed himself so close to her that the cushion angled, rolling her into him. He lifted his arm to invite her into his chest. Emma smiled, looking down, and remained upright.

  “Have you seen this one?” he asked her, gesturing at the screen with the controller. “Zombies.”

  “No. I know everyone ever is obsessed with this show. Guess I just haven’t had the time.”

  “With your fifteen jobs? Weird. Do you want to check it out? I’m willing to watch it from the beginning.”

  “Sure. I’ve always been curious.”

  “Decided then, but there’s a cost.”

  “A cost?”

  “Yep. Every time someone gets eaten by a zombie, you have to give me a kiss.”

  Emma looked down again, hoping the flare of heat did not show on her cheeks. Jamal’s arm hovered around her a moment, gently guiding her against him. Once she flicked her eyes up, he gave her a heavy look, then his eyes wandered down to her mouth. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. The warmth from his face brushed against hers. She closed her eyes and found a strange silence in his kiss.

  A rush surged on Emma’s nerves at the physical contact. Her mind fell quiet when her body focused on him. Below the tug of her instincts and the bliss of the distraction, another sensation writhed. She found his arm around her both pleasant yet confining. His kiss felt skilled and enticing, but too fast. Although she wanted him, a panicked suffocation sat beneath that desire.

  Emma took a deep breath and sank against him and stare into the flashing screen.